There's been a lot going on lately. I've been wanting to update, but I just can't find the words to express how happy I've been lately.

I'm dating David who's an absolutely wonderful person. I can't even begin to say how happy he's made me so far... 11/12/09 It's funny. We've been together a little over a week and I haven't been in a relationship that didn't have problems after the first week since like my Freshman year with my first boyfriend. I feel very comfortable.

On the other hand, the reason I'm writing is because I'm NOT happy, I'm absolutely miserable. Figures. It's the only time I can actually form fucking sentences.

I lost a friend today...She was one of my best friends, we hit it off right away and she made the top of my list almost immediately. I looked up to her and I was always excited to hang out with her.

I did something stupid and it's all my fucking fault. I can't stop crying and I just don't know what to do. She doesn't want to talk to me or see me or anything...I was just trying to help.

I just want to curl up and die. Thank you, David, for helping me to forget just how much I hate myself. Good luck for the future now that I've remembered...